Hollywood Stickup

by Unknown Author

Originally appearing in Police Comics issue #2 in 1941.

Blackie Dolan, fedora pulled low over his eyes, watched a movie company set up its equipment on the corner of Bronson and Melrose avenues.

"Gonna shoot a fillum, looks like," observed Blackie, who had just been sprung from San Quentin prison a week earlier. "Mebbe I'll give it a gander."

A truck had unloaded a dozen or so giant Klieg lights on the sidewalk in front of the Bank of America. A camera crew rolled several cameras forward. A sound truck was parked at the curb, and from its mysterious interior, a series of thick cables led into the bank and a moveable boom that held the mike.

As Blackie watched the progress of the shooting crew, a long limousine drew up, and a veiled woman got out.

"Hmmm!" mused Blackie. "Prob'ly the star. An' look at the flock o' ice she's wearin'!"

More expensive cars kept arriving until an entire force of actors and actresses were on the scene. Then the shooting got underway. The big arcs blazed into life; their dazzling rays focused upon the bank's front. The customers seemed to pay no attention to what was going on. Of course, Blackie reasoned, folks were wised up to these things in Hollywood.

An armored truck pulled up at the curb, and two uniformed guards got out. A moment later, a man came out of the bank carrying a heavy sack of money.

Money! Blackie licked his pendulous lips. What he wouldn't give for a tenner right now! He had quickly spent the five dollars which the prison gives to a released man. And Blackie had been unable to contact any of his old mob; probably some of them got "stuck in the draft. He too was of draft age, but he had not registered, having been in prison; nor had he any intention of registering now that he was a free man once more. That was for suckers!

Funny, thought Blackie, how movies were made. A lot of it is plenty phony, too.

As he watched, a big touring car screamed to a stop in front of the bank, and two men leaped out with drawn revolvers. Covering the bank guards, they backed them into the bank.

"All right," one of them shouted. "This is a stickup!"

A revolver blasted from inside the bank, and a policeman ran outside. (He pumped a shot at the bandits. One of them fell, blazing away from the sidewalk.) The cop reeled drunkenly, then sprawled face down on the concrete.

The other bandit grabbed the cash sack and leaped into the car. It sped away, with one man in the tonneau covering everybody with a Tommy gun.

"Cheez!" gasped Blackie. "That sure looked like the McCoy! ... but I guess it was only part of the pitcher!"

It hit Blackie as he was strolling toward the flop he called home. Suddenly. Cold. Between the eyes. What a honey of an idea! He hurried into a drug store and made for a telephone booth. There was one guy he hadn't tried to contact. That one was Mike Danovitch, the slickest con man this side of Manhattan. Blackie had worked for Mike once; then that payroll job had landed him in the clink. Mike had faded out of the picture because Mike didn't like to monkey with guys who had been in "stir." But with this idea ... Mike would go for it big!

One bright afternoon, Dick Mace was sitting in the office of John Kelley, president of the California Bank

"Well, you runnin' into many exciting jobs these days?" Kelley asked.

Dick grinned. "Only one lately; that silk stealing outfit in British Columbia."

"I envy you chaps who follow the dangerous trails," Kelley said. "Me, I sit here day after day, twiddling my thumbs, and what happens? Nothin'!"

"'You're going to have some pretty soon, aren't you?" Dick queried. Didn't you say a movie company was going to shoot a picture in the bank this afternoon?"

"Pooh!" snorted Kelley. "When you've lived in California as long as I have, you won't think movie shootin' much of a thrill ... yeah, they're going to be here at two. Stick around, Dick; you might get a kick out of it."

Sharp at two, a couple of huge trucks rolled up in front of the bank. They were loaded with arcs, and the thousand and one bits of equipment used in shooting a film

Some of the equipment was set up inside the bank, some outside. A dozen men carried arcs and rolls of cable here and there, placing it according to a blueprint

one of them consulted occasionally.

"What company is it?" Dick asked.

"I forget now. One of the 'quickies' I think ... they spring up like mushrooms out here, and some of 'em don't last much longer!"

The director made his appearance. He wore dark glasses and spoke brittely to the crew of props and grips.

"All right, everybody!" he called. "Take your places!"

John Kelley nudged Dick, "It's supposed to be a bank stickup, y'know. I never saw a real one, but I've watched a lot of these movie versions."

Outside the bank, police had their hands full, keeping the curious crowd from mobbing the movie crew. The star arrived in a big sedan. When he came into the bank, Dick laughed. The chap was undoubtedly made up to look like a tough.

"He's supposed to be a Humphrey Bogart type, you know," said Kelley. "The tough killer, and all that." Kelley yawned. "I hope it doesn't take 'em longer than to three; I want to get home and stand under a nice shower."

"All right, roll 'em!" called the director.

There were two thugs at the door of the bank. A third and fourth had drawn their guns and were poking them through the tellers' cages. The sound boom hung just over their heads.

"Stick 'em up, everybody!" one of them snarled.

One of the gunmen had the customers lined up at one wall. They had been warned, by a large sign posted at the door, that this was a movie. They grinned as the guns wavered back and forth.

"Hand over all the paper money," snapped the bold star. Looking a bit puzzled, the teller shoved a heavy sack through the grill.

"Certainly realistic," Dick mused.

"Cut!" shouted the director. Then:

"Now, folks, if you'll just remain in your places a moment while we shoot the vault sequence, we'll be mighty grateful ... and I'll personally send you all tickets to the picture!"

The people standing with their backs to the wall grinned. One of them said, "Boy, I hope they see me in this film; I'll tell the folks back East that I was in a real bank robbery!"

The cameras moved toward the vault room at the rear of the bank. The sound boom snaked overhead, its tiny mike hanging just above the star's head.

"Quiet, everybody!" From the director. "Roll 'em!"

The cameras went into action again, and the star closed in on the old vault guard.

"Open her up, buddy, an' make it snappy!"

The guard swung the heavy vault door open. The star went inside but returned in a moment with a flat steel box under his arm.

"All right, guys," he said to his gunmen, "we got the works. Let's get goin'!"

They went out the door, their pistols still menacing everybody.

Outside, another camera recorded their exit.

"Say," said Dick, "that was real money they took, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, sure," Kelley replied, "Why, Dickie . . . you think a movie company would...Hey!"

Dick had vaulted over the railing and was running for the door.

"Something mighty funny about this, that's all!" he shot over his shoulder. He saw the cars and trucks pulling away rapidly at the door.

"Why don't they take their stuff?" he asked of a cop.

"Dunno," replied the latter.

"Well, stop them!" Dick shouted. "Stop them!"

The cop just stood, looking a little dazed. "It's a movie, you nut!"

"Movie my eye!" Dick tore one of the cameras open. The film reels were empty. "Just as I thought!" he cried. "Just as I figured he'd do. It was a real stickup...and he got away with it. Almost," he added a moment later when a rattle of pistol fire broke out down the street.

"What is that?" demanded Kelley.

"That," said Dick, "is a small reception committee I arranged, just in case, Mr. Kelley. You see, I was in a phone booth one day when Blackie Dolan called a slick crook. He was in the next booth. I heard him plan a bank robbery, using this movie idea as a gag. He rented the equipment from one of the smaller companies . . . So I had a few squad cars loaded with cops parked up and down the block, with orders to take a look in the movie company's cars. That's all. They evidently had a little trouble getting your money back!"

END